According to our esteemed Timekeeper of the Cosmos, time has been fluctuating wildly in the vicinity of your kitchen sink. Don't worry, it's not just you – it's a wormhole in your plumbing!
But wait, there's more! Our team of expert Time-Dilation-ers has discovered a correlation between time dilation and excessive consumption of your favorite snack foods. Coincidence? We think not!
Symptoms of Time Dilation: The Checklist Technologies to Combat Time Dilation: The Solutions