Q: What is Fluorescent Frenzy?
A: It's a phenomenon where everything is too darn bright.
Q: Why is it happening?
A: Our research suggests it's a government experiment gone wrong.
Q: How can I protect myself?
A: Wear these goggles and vest at all times!
Q: Can I get a refund?
A: Check the fine print (it's in tiny letters, but we think it's there).