The Art of War: A Guide to Dealing with In-Laws

Step 2: The Art of War

By Sun Tzu, with a dash of family drama

So, you've decided to wage war against your in-laws. Congratulations! This is a noble pursuit.

Step 2: The Art of War is all about strategy. You must be cunning, you must be ruthless, and you must be prepared for the long haul.

Here's a battle plan to help you win:

• Deny, deny, deny. Deny any and all requests for help with their "projects" or "business ventures".
• Burn, burn, burn. Burn their bridges by pointing out their "interesting" cooking skills.
• Surround, surround, surround. Surround their house with a moat of passive-aggressive comments on social media.

But wait, there's more! To truly be a master of The Art of War, you must also be prepared for the counterattack:

• Defend, defend, defend. Defend your own "projects" or "business ventures" from their constant barrage of questions.
• De-escalate, de-escalate, de-escalate. De-escalate the situation by feigning interest in their latest hobby.
• Disarm, disarm, disarm. Disarm their defenses by pretending to be a good listener.

Remember, war is not just about winning. It's about being the last one standing, with a slightly-burnt dinner and a few choice words for your in-laws.

Next step: The Seven Strategies of Subterfuge

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