Our Investment Advisors

Because who needs financial stability when you can have a 50/50 chance of bankruptcy?

Our experts are trained in the art of throwing money into a void.

Meet our Team

Bertrand the Unstable

Bertand T.

Bertand is our resident expert in risk management. By 'expert' I mean he's really good at taking unnecessary risks and blaming everyone else when things go wrong.

Learn more about Bertand
Lola the Optimist

Lola M.

Lola is our team lead on 'We'll Get Around to This Later.' When she says 'we' she's usually talking about herself.

Read Lola's latest 5-year-plan
View our Investment Strategies
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