IN VOLUNTARY HICCUPS - The Uninvited Guest

Welcome to the Involuntary Hiccups Support Page. We're sorry you're here. Hiccups are the worst.

Causes

Causes of Involuntary Hiccups are many and varied, including but not limited to:

• Eating too many beans
• Drinking too much soda
• Laughing too much
• Thinking too much about hiccups
• Staring at the ceiling for too long
• Watching too many YouTube videos of cat memes
• Staring at a blank wall
• Trying to eat a sandwich too quickly
• Having too many siblings
• Being in a room with too many windows
• Staring at an old, flickering CRT monitor
• Thinking too much about the meaning of life
• Trying to solve world hunger with a single, poorly-placed napkin
• Being in a crowded elevator with too many people
• Staring at an old, dusty VHS tape
• Thinking too much about the afterlife
• Having too many thoughts at once
• Staring at a bright, shining light
• Trying to eat a whole pizza by yourself
• Being in a room with a wonky air vent
• Thinking too much about the meaning of "too much"
• Staring at an old, beat-up typewriter
• Trying to hold your breath for too long
• Being in a crowded, poorly-ventilated room
• Thinking too much about the after-afterlife
• Having too many thoughts at once, but not enough snacks
• Staring at a bright, shining star

Treatment

Treatment for Involuntary Hiccups is as follows:

• Hold your breath until you turn blue
• Drink a glass of water
• Stare at the ceiling for 10 minutes
• Count to 10, but not 11
• Try to think of something else, but it's just not working
• Stare at a bright, shiny object
• Try to hold your breath, but it's just not possible
• Cry for help, but nobody can hear you
• Try to eat a whole jar of wasabi
• Stare at an old, beat-up typewriter
• Try to hold it in for 5 minutes, but it's just not happening
• Stare at a blank wall, but it's just not doing the trick
• Try to eat a whole pizza by yourself
• Stare at an old, beat-up VHS tape
• Try to hold your breath, but it's just not working
• Stare at a bright, shiny star

Subpages

You may find the following subpages helpful:

• Causes of Involuntary Hiccups - A list of possible causes of Involuntary Hiccups
• Treatment of Involuntary Hiccups - A list of possible treatments for Involuntary Hiccups
• Involuntary Hiccups in the News - News articles about Involuntary Hiccups
• Involuntary Hiccups in History Books - A look at Involuntary Hiccups in historical context
• Involuntary Hiccups in the Movies - A look at Involuntary Hiccups in film
• Involuntary Hiccups in the Bible - A look at Involuntary Hiccups in religious text
• Involuntary Hiccups in the Future - Speculation on the future of Involuntary Hiccups
• Involuntary Hiccups in the Universe - A look at Involuntary Hiccups in a cosmic context

Disclaimer

Disclaimer: Involuntary Hiccups is not a real medical condition. This website is entirely fictional. Do not try any of the treatments listed above, or you will probably just end up with the hiccups anyway.