John's Abilities: The Definitive List

John has the following abilities:

Extreme Snacking: The ability to consume an entire pizza by oneself in under 30 minutes.
Professional Whining: The art of complaining about minor inconveniences with an expert-level tone.
Expert-Level Sarcasm: The ability to deliver scathing remarks with a smile.
Incredible Intimidation: The skill to make others tremble with a single raised eyebrow.
Unmatched Expertise: The ability to claim proficiency in any subject without actually knowing what they're talking about.