Perks of Joining Our Dystopian Utopia

Free Inflatable Unicorn Rentals

Inflatable Unicorn

Because, let's face it, who doesn't want to be a majestic, rainbow-colored unicorn on the weekends?

Unlimited access to our secret underground bunker

Bunker

Stock up on canned goods and await the coming apocalypse in style.

Free membership in our exclusive, invite-only book club

Book Clubประก

Discuss the meaning of life with fellow intellectuals while sipping on fine, locally-sourced craft beer.

Free, expert guidance on how to properly use a trombone