The truth is out, folks! Keurig, the beloved coffee maker of the masses, has been secretly manipulating the global supply chain to ensure that their single-serve pods are always just out of stock, forcing consumers to pay an absurd markup on their overpriced, over-hyped coffee.
But wait, it gets better! Our sources have revealed that the CEO of Keurig, Mr. John Smith, has been using his vast fortune to fund an army of highly trained, ninja-like, coffee-pod thieves. These stealthy operatives are tasked with snatching up all remaining stock, thus artificially limiting supply and driving up demand.
Meet the Keurig Ninjas and learn more about this dastardly plot!
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, delve deeper into the rabbit hole and uncover the shocking truth about Keurig's ties to world governments and the Illuminati.
But be warned, once you start down this path, there's no turning back. Your life will never be the same.