KeurigMindControl

Welcome to the headquarters of the most advanced, most secretive, and most utterly bewildering coffee shop in the world.

We serve not just any coffee, but the finest, hand-crafted, artificially-intelligent brews known to humanity.

Our Mission

To control your mind with the most potent, most seductive, and most bewildering flavors, guaranteed to make you question your life choices.

We're not just a coffee shop, we're a social experiment.

Our Menu

• NeuroFrenzy - A brew so potent, you'll forget what day it is.
• CaffeineComa - A drink so strong, you'll forget what your name is.
• InsomniaInferno - A flavor so bitter, you'll never sleep again.

Or, if you're feeling really adventurous, try our Random Flavor option. We'll surprise you.

But be warned, once you start drinking with us, you may never stop.

Or you might.