Life Support System - Self Improvement Program
Self-Improvement for the Utterly Average Individual

Program Overview

Welcome to the Self Improvement Program, where you'll be subjected to an endless barrage of motivational posters, affirmations, and productivity hacks. Our program is tailored to help the average person become marginally better than they were before.

Our expert team of life coaches will guide you through a series of grueling, soul-crushing exercises designed to squeeze every last drop of potential out of you.

Modules

Testimonials

"I used to be a shell of a human, now I'm a slightly-improved shell." - John D.

"I've been to the program for three years and I've seen some real progress... in the number of hours I've spent here." - Jane E.

Disclaimer

By enrolling in our program, you acknowledge that you're ready to sacrifice your sanity, relationships, and what's left of your dignity for the sake of self-improvement.

Side effects may include: increased productivity, marginally better posture, and a faint scent of desperation.