Today: "Synergy" Meeting

Where we all pretend to be synergistic and discuss things that could have been emails.

Agenda:

• Item 1: Discuss the weather (10:00-10:30)
• Item 2: Synergize or die (10:30-11:15)
• Item 3: Brainstorm ways to make meetings more efficient (11:15-12:00)

Present:

• John (Manager Extraordinaire)
• Jim (The Synergy Specialist)
• Jane (The Meeting Queen)

Thursday: "Quarterly Goals" Meeting

Where we all pretend to be productive prophets, discussing goals we'll never meet.

Agenda:

• Item 1: Discuss goals that are already overdue (11:00-11:45)
• Item 2: Brainstorm ways to re-prioritize the impossible (11:45-12:30)
• Item 3: Make empty promisesประก to stakeholders (12:30-13:00)

Present:

• Jim (The Goal Guru)
• John (The Motivator)
• Jane (The Realist)

Weekly: "Bullshit" Meeting

Where we all pretend to be experts in the art of making excuses.

Agenda:

• Item 1: Discuss the meaning of "Bullshit" (10:00-11:00)
• Item 2: Make up reasons for not meeting the deadline (11:00-12:00)
• Item 3: Decide who ate the last donut in the break room (12:00-13:00)

Present:

• Bob (The Bullshit Master)
• Jane (The Excuse Queen)
• Jim (The Don prophets of the break room)