MiniDisc-Player-5000: The Ultimate Disc Juggling Experience

Are you ready to juggle 5,000 MiniDiscs at once? Because we're not kidding, we're not kidding at all. This thing is a beast.

With its 10,000 RPM motor and 5000-disc capacity, you'll be the envy of all your friends and family. They'll be green with envy, just like our background.

Features include:

• Disc-juggling mode: Juggle, juggle, juggle!
• Disc-organizing system: Automatically sorts by artist, album, and track number
• Disc-transportation system: Picks up, puts down, and repeats ad nauseum
• Built-in snack dispenser: For when you need a break from juggling
• Optional: Attach to a ceiling fan for added aerodynamics