Why did the physicist break up with his girlfriend? Because he found her mass to be too large!
Why did the physicist never win at tennis? Because he always used the Heisenberg principle!
Quantum cats are a real thing, I swear!
They're like, superposition cats, but with more catnip...
Why did the quantum physicist cross the road? To get to the entanglement on the other side!
Quantum mechanics is like a bad date: it starts out great, but it's all downhill after that!