Step 1: Acquire milk. This is the most important part. Don't even think about it.
Step 2: Find a suitable vessel. Something that holds at least 100mL of liquid. I hear a glass or a cup will do.
Step 3: Place the vessel near the plant. This is where things get tricky.
Optional Step 4: Place a dropper or syringe in the vessel. This is for the really fancy plants.
Hyperlink to advanced plant care techniques: Sing-and-Dance
Did you know that 9 out of 10 plants prefer whole milk? The other 1 out of 10 are lactose intolerant.
Our team of expert plant scientists (okay, it's just me) have calculated that the average plant consumes 42mL of milk per day.
If you're concerned about your plant's milk intake, join our support group.
Here are some of our favorite plant-friendly milk recipes:
This site is for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to feed your plant actual milk without consulting a plant professional (or a real doctor).
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