Warning: The following content is highly addictive and may cause excessive pet worship.
My pet is dependent on me. Like, seriously dependent. It can't function without me. It's not just a pet, it's a tiny dictator in training.
Here's a breakdown of the problem:
- It needs me to wake it up at 6 AM every day for 'breakfast'. If I'm not there, it will just lie there.
- It requires constant belly rubs and scratches behind the ears. If I stop, it will just stare at me with those sad puppy eyes.
- It has a strong preference for 3 AM feedings. Yes, you read that right. 3 AM.
- It has a severe allergy to being left alone. Like, seriously severe.
Clearly, we have a problem here.
I'm considering calling in a team of highly trained animal behaviorists to stage an intervention. Wish me luck.