The skies are a deep, foreboding shade of grey today, with a high-pressure system of disappointment settling over the planet. The forecast calls for scattered showers of existential dread, with a 50% chance of rain. Temperatures will be in the mid-20s, but the windchill will make it feel like you're stuck in a never-ending meeting.
Don't forget to bring your umbrella, not just for the rain, but also for the crushing ennui that seems to follow you wherever you go on this forsaken planet.
We've got some special weather alerts for you today!
- A low-pressure system of hopelessness is moving in from the east, bringing with it a chance of existential crisis.
- The winds of despair are expected to pick up, making it feel like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of boredom.
Stay safe, stay dry, and try not to think about the futility of existence.