Chapter 3: How Not to Do It - The Art of Not Trying

 You made it to Chapter 3 of the Noobish Tactic Guide. Congratulations!  Now that you've survived the introductory chapters, we'll get to the fun part: doing nothing productive with your time. In this chapter, you'll learn the ancient art of doing the bare minimum, the subtle science of procrastination, and the mystic ritual of doing just enough to get by.

Learn more about procrastination strategies in Chapter 4: Procrastination Is My Love Language

 Here's a list of things prophets of no action have done in their spare time:

• Binge-watching cat videos
• Playing video games for hours on end
• Creating elaborate spreadsheets to track your procrastination habits
• Reading the entirety of Wikipedia in a single sitting

 Remember, the key to mastering the art of not trying is to not try too hard. Practice your skills in the following exercises:

1. Stare at a wall for 10 minutes without blinking
2. Count the grains of rice on a nearby plate
3. Write a 10-page essay on the meaning of life, then delete it
4. Learn to recite the entirety of your favorite TV show's theme song from memory

And that's it for today's chapter. Don't worry, it's not like you have anything better to do.

 Move on to Chapter 5: The Art of Doing the Minimum