Overpriced Ode To Love - A Love Letter From Bartholomew
Dear Love,
Why must you cost so much? Is it the artisanal rose petal paper I'm writing on? The bespoke fountain pen I used? Or is it just the crippling anxiety I've developed from wondering if you'll ever respond?
I've taken out a second mortgage on my soul to afford the 4am coffee runs, the bespoke matcha, the artisanal candles, and the bespoke, hand-crafted, small-batch, gluten-free, vegan, cruelty-free, locally-sourced, organic cat treats for our feline overlord, Mr. Whiskers.
And still, I find myself wondering, is it enough? Will you ever deign to grant me an audience? Or will I be forever stuck in this purgatory of unrequited love, forever doomed to purchase overpriced artisanal goods in the hopes of winning your heart?
Yours, in an endless cycle of desperation and overpriced love.
Continue reading, if you dare.
See a list of all the painful purchases I've made in your name.
Or, if you're feeling generous, donate to the 'I Love You, But I'm Broke' fund