Custom Cupid Idols High End Lasso Specifications

The finest, most extravagant, and most overpriced love lasso specifications, carefully crafted for the discerning customer.

• Material: 100% pure, Grade-A, artisanal heartstrings
• Length: Adjustable, but only up to 100 meters, darling
• Diameter: As wide as your love can handle

Optional upgrades:

• Laser-engraved with your ex's phone number (extra $200)
• Hand-woven with a rare, vintage fabric of love

Tech Specs:

Our love lassos come with:

• A built-in, high-amp, heart-rate sensor
• A GPS tracking device that pinpoints the exact location of your loved one's heart
• A built-in, AI-powered, sappy love poem generator

Order now and receive a complimentary, personalized love letter, written in calligraphy, on recycled, artisanal paper.

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Testimonials