Phantom Object Theory: A Guide to Not Being There When You Need to Be

Warning: This site is for entertainment purposes only. Prolonged exposure to Phantom Object Theory may lead to spontaneous disappearance.

Principles

The fundamental principles of Phantom Object Theory are simple:

• 1. You will be there, or so you won't.
• 2. If you're not there, just pretend you're not.
• 3. Repeat step 2 until it becomes a habit.

Advanced Techniques

For those who want to take their Phantom Object Theory to the next level:

• 1. Develop a convincing alibi.
• 2. Learn to make a good exit strategy.
• 3. Practice your 'I was never here' face.

For more information on these advanced techniques, visit our Alibis and Exit Strategies page.