Pharaoh's Favorite Goldfish Recipe

A Recipe Fit for a Ruler of the Ancient World

To start, catch a goldfish. Any goldfish will do, but the more majestic the better. I prefer a specimen with a flair for the dramatic.

Next, feed the goldfish a diet of nothing but the finest Egyptian delicacies. I find that a mix of fresh figs, dates, and imported Egyptian mint leaves do the trick.

Once the goldfish has been sufficiently pampered, it's time to prepare the main course. Mix together a pinch of prophets' blood, a dash of hierประก gold, and a healthy dose of sarcasm.

Place the mixture in a bowl, and voila! Your very own goldfish is now a Pharaoh, ready to rule over the ancient land of the Nile with an iron fin.

But wait, there's more! To complete the Pharaoh's experience, be sure to serve your new ruler a side of crispy fried catfish.

And don't forget to leave a tip for the chef! Or, in this case, the Pharaoh.

Happy cooking, and remember, don't eat the help!