Meet the Team

Aristotle

Specializing in the study of obscure Greek pottery and the meaninglessness of human existence.

Aristotle's favorite food is ambrosia, but only when it's served with a side of existential dread.

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Kant

Famous for his critiques of metaphysics and his impressive collection of 18th-century dentures.

Kant's favorite pastime is rearranging the furniture in his study to optimize for moral absolutism.

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Nietzsche

The infamous anti-hero of existential dread, specializing in the deconstruction of societal norms.

Nietzsche's favorite hobby is writing aphorisms in the style of a madman with a bad haircut.

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