Physically Unremarkable Strength Training Protocols

Warning: The following protocols have been designed to be as underwhelming as possible.

Protocol 1: The 3-Minute Wobble

Stand on one foot, wobble on the other. Repeat for 3 minutes. Take a 30-second break to catch your breath and contemplate the meaninglessness of existence.

Protocol 2: The 5-Minute Stare

Stare at a wall for 5 minutes. Try not to blink. If your eye starts to water, congratulations! You've achieved a state of deep introspection.

Protocol 3: The 1-Hour Nap

Lie down on the floor and take a 1-hour nap. Don't worry, it's not laziness, it's just your body's way of telling you that the protocols are, in fact, physically unremarkable.