Why Bother with Exercise?
We've got the perfect blend of physical activities designed to leave you feeling like a sad, sweaty mess. Because, let's be real, that's the only way to truly live.
The Unfortunate 500-Meter Slog:
Run in circles around your backyard while wearing a weighted vest. Repeat for 30 minutes, then collapse onto the grass.
- Wear 5 pounds of weights for every 50 meters
- Don't forget the obligatory 10-minute break to contemplate life choices
Extreme Ironing:
Ironing a crumpled up sheet, but with a 10-pound weight attached to the end of the ironing board. Bonus points if you can iron your own socks while doing it.
- Use a 4-iron with a built-in bottle opener
- Don't forget to iron those hard-to-reach areas... like your knees