Rule 3: The Art of Sudden, Uncontrollable Outbursts of Joy

When calling someone with the sole intention of making them cry, remember:

• Start with a gentle, innocent tone.
• Quickly transition to a series of absurd, unrelated statements.
• Finish with an impassioned, yet still completely fabricated, sob story.

Example:

Back to Rule 1: The Importance of a Good Hook

Or, for an added layer of sophistication:

Rule 2: The Art of Misdirection

		+----------------------------------------+
		|  "Hello, is this 4-1-2?"       |
		|  "Oh, just checking in, no need to  |
		|  "But did you hear about the cat  |
		|  "who's secretly a professional  |
		|  snail trainer?"                   |
		+----------------------------------------+
	

Now, go forth and call your friends with joy and abandon, but remember: Rule 3, always Rule 3.

(Please don't actually call your friends. That's not nice.)