Overly Honest Resume

By: Chuck "The Overachiever" Overly

I'm Chuck "The Overachiever" Overly, the most honest person you'll ever meet. My resume is a masterpiece of unvarnished truth, a testament to my unwavering commitment to transparency.

I have a proven track record of being late to work, consistently delivering subpar results, and making questionable life choices. My friends and family would describe me as "a unique snowflake" and "a special kind of crazy".

Skills:

• Expert-levelchartInstance: I can spend hours staring at spreadsheets, wondering what they're for.
• Advanced-level procrastination: I can put off tasks for weeks, all while appearing busy.
• Proficient-level excuses: I can come up with creative reasons for why I'm late, underqualified, or just plain wrong.

Education:

Overly Honest University (where honesty is optional)

References:

Available upon request, but only if you're willing to sign a waiver stating you won't actually read them.

Get in touch:

Contact me, but don't expect a response before 3 PM

Or, you know, just Google me. That's what I do.