My Family's Pre-Existing Condition Excuses

"I'm sorry I forgot my homework, but my family has a genetic predisposition to procrastination."

Procrastination Is a Genetic Disorder

"I'm running late because my family has a pre-existing condition of being perpetually lost in the woods."

We Get Lost All the Time

"I'm not paying attention because my family has a pre-existing condition of having the attention span of a goldfish."

We Can Only Hold It for 5 Minutes