Subscription Plan: The Fart-tastic Terms and Conditions

By signing up, you agree to the following:

We reserve the right to predict your farts at will, without warning, and without regard for your feelings.
You agree to provide a 24/7 fart-situation report, detailing the timing, duration, and severity of your flatulence.
Our AI-powered Fart-O-Matic system may, at any time, interrupt your Netflix binge-fest to alert you to an impending fart-burst.
You understand that our Fart-Predictors are not responsible for any emotional trauma caused by our predictions, including but not limited to: embarrassment, anxiety, or spontaneous combustion.

Subscription plans start at $19.99/month, with discounts for bulk orders of 5 or more years' predictions.