Welcome to the Predestination Paradox Co., where the fabric of reality is as fragile as our accountant's understanding of tax law.
We're a time-traveling consulting firm specializing in predestinating the lives of individuals with an unhealthy obsession with 80s pop culture.
Our team of expert temporal analysts will guide you through the rabbit hole of causality, ensuring that every decision you make is precisely orchestrated by the universe itself.
Need help making sense of your life's choices? Want to live out your wildest dreams of becoming a 1980s aerobics instructor or a professional snail trainer?
Discover how our Temporal Loopholes program can make your every whim a reality. Check out our rates for our predestinating services. Read about the tragic tale of Bob, who couldn't quite get the free will he so desperately sought.