Procrastination Techniques: Arguing with Online Gurus

Today we're going to explore one of the most advanced and highly effective techniques of procrastination: arguing with online gurus.

Also known as "Guruing," this technique involves finding an online forum, comment thread, or social media post where some self-righteous individual is spouting off about the meaninglessness of life, the importance of productivity, or some other pseudo-insightful drivel.

Step 1: Find the right guru

• Search for "productivity expert" or "life coach" or "thought leader."
• Look for someone who's got a picture of themselves with a motivational quote.
• Someone who uses the word "paradigm" in their profile bio, guaranteed.

Step 2: Engage the guru

• Leave a comment that's just slightly contrarian.
• "Actually, research suggests that procrastination is just a natural part of the creative process."
• See how long it takes for the guru to get defensive and start typing in ALL CAPS.

Step 3: Escalate the argument

• Keep poking and prodding until the guru starts to get desperate and resort to name-calling.
• For example, "You're just a lazy slacker who can't even get out of bed in the morning."
• Ha! Gotcha.
• Next: Flaming the Guru

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