Procrastination Tips from a Bureaucratic Red Tape Expert

Welcome, citizen! As a certified Bureaucratic Red Tape Expert, I'm here to provide you with the most efficient ways to waste your time.

Here are some tips to get you started:

• Learn to make a bowl of ramen in 17 steps.
• Create a to-do list for your to-do list.
• Develop a new excuse for why you can't start that project.

Remember, every bureaucratic process has an inverse relationship between speed and efficiency. The more steps, the slower and more enjoyable the process will be.

Apply for a temporary leave of absence to attend to your suddenly urgent and unavoidable family emergency. Submit form 20 in advance for no reason, whatever.