When all else fails, just troll your friends on Twitter.
Use their own insecurities against them, and watch the drama unfold.
For example, if your friend is trying to sell their old bike, tweet:
"I've got a great idea for a new bike! It's called the 'broken and rusty bike' and it's going to change the world! Learn more about this revolutionary new bike.
Or, if your friend is trying to get you to do chores, tweet:
"Who needs chores when you could be playing video games all day? Learn more about the importance of procrastination in gaming."