Buy all of our stuff!

Because, honestly, you're going to regret it if you don't.

prophets of the apocalypse with our exclusive line of prophetic televisions

Our televisions are so good, you'll be convinced the end of the world is near!

Ride the future, on our robotic scooters!

Ride with the robots, ride with the times! (Or, you know, just ride to the store)

Toast your way to self-love with our self-taking toaster!

Take a self-tortured soul, and toast it into something new! (Works best with selfie-sticks)

Read all about how to use the self-tortured soul toaster in our comprehensive user guide!

We're not responsible for your burnt faces.

Or, you know, just buy the toaster and hope for the best.

Prophets of the apocalypse, prophets of love, prophets of... prophets.

Or, just read the about page, we don't really care.

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