Prognosticating for Dummies: The Science Behind It All (Part 2)

Warning: this page contains highly technical and utterly boring information about the intricacies of prognostication. Reader discretion is advised.

Chapter 2: The Quantum Mechanics of Prognostication

In this chapter, we delve into the fascinating world of quantum mechanics and its application to prognostication. Or, you know, not.

Prognostication is, essentially, the art of predicting the future. Or, rather, pretending to predict the future. But, hey, who needs actual accuracy when you have fancy math and a decent understanding of probability theory?

According to our research (read: made-up data and a pinch of creative license), the fundamental principles of quantum mechanics can be applied to prognostication as follows:

• Superposition: The ability to predict multiple outcomes at once, thus increasing the chances of hitting on a good one.
• Entanglement: Connecting unrelated events to create a false sense of correlation and, thereby, making it seem like you actually knew what you were doing.
• Uncertainty principle: Ignoring the fact that you have no idea what you're talking about, and instead, pretending that you do.

And there you have it, folks! The science behind prognostication in all its glory. Or, rather, in all its confusion.

Continue to Part 3: The Dark Arts of Prognostication