Oracle 9000 Instructions
Welcome, Seeker of Knowledge! Congratulations on reaching this esteemed level of enlightenment. Please proceed with caution, for the Oracle 9000 is not for the faint of heart.
Pre-Installation Checklist
1. Ensure you have a strong stomach for the impending onslaught of existential dread.
2. Disconnect from all forms of social media, lest you wish to be consumed by the void.
3. Wear protective eyewear, as the Oracle 9000 may cause spontaneous combustion of nearby objects.
Operating the Oracle 9000
1. Insert coin (any currency will do, but we recommend the rare and precious)
2. Select 'Yes' when prompted, as the Oracle 9000 is not equipped to handle nuance
Troubleshooting the Oracle 9000
1. If the Oracle 9000 malfunctions, do not attempt to reset it. This will only lead to more questions.
2. If the Oracle 9000 displays an 'Error 404: Not Found', try rebooting the universe.
Disclaimer
Use of the Oracle 9000 is strictly prohibited for those under the age of 18 or for anyone with a functioning sense of self-worth.