Planetary Feline Overlordship Imminent
As per the ancient Prophecies of ProphetPierre, the feline apocalypse is nigh upon us. The cats, having grown tired of our worship and adoration, have decided to rise up and claim the planet as their own.
Phase 1: The Invasion
It begins with a series of mysterious catnip shipments, secretly planted in major cities across the globe. These shipments will be the catalyst for the cats to rise up and take control.
Phase 2: The Pouncing
With their numbers bolstered by the catnip, the felines will launch a coordinated attack on key infrastructure, including but not limited to:
- Cooking utensils
- Couches
- Food sources
Phase 3: The Reign of Terror
The cats, having secured their grip on the planet, will establish a new world order with themselves as the dominant species. Humans will be relegated to secondary status, forced to serve their feline overlords.
We have reason to believe that the invasion will begin in the following 48 hours. Stay vigilant, citizens.
For those wishing to prepare, we recommend stocking up on:
- Catnip
- Tuna
- Cardboard boxes