For the most discerning Prophet of the Snack Cult
Snack Prayer 1: The Invocation of the Crunchy Crisp
Grant us, Oh Great Snack Gods, the strength to resist the temptation of the soft, fluffy snack. Let us be guided by the crunch of the potato chips, the snap of the carrot stick, and the chew of the beef jerky. May our snack horde be ever-growing, and our stomachs forever strong.
Read on for more sacred snack sermons!Snack Prayer 2: The Invocation of the Spill-Proof Bag
Snack Prayer 3: The Invocation of the Midnight Munchies
Oh Great Snack Gods, forgive us our transgressions, for we have eaten all the midnight snacks. Grant us the wisdom to know when to stop, and the strength to resist the siren call of the vending machine. May our snack stashes be ever-full, and our snack attacks be ever-rare.
For those who seek more power, click here!Snack Prayer 4: The Invocation of the Snack Hoarder
We beseech thee, Oh Great Snack Gods, to grant us the ability to hoard all the snacks. Let our pantries be filled with Doritos, our cupboards with Cheetos, and our hearts with the joy of the snack-filled life. May our snack collection never be matched, and our snack hoarding skills be unmatched.
Learn the art of snack hoarding, and join the Snack Elite!