Disclaimer: I'm not really a prophetess, but...

While I may not possess any actual divinatory powers, I do have an uncanny knack for telling you things you don't want to hear. Like the fact that your favorite food is secretly just a bunch of cardboard boxes with some sauce on it.

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Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed. Unless you count 'results' as 'a good laugh'.

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Learn more about the art of being a prophetess, minus the actual prophecy thing.