Disclaimer Exceptions

Warning: The tools generated by this website are completely and utterly useless. Use them at your own risk.

Exceptions to this warning include:

If you're a time-traveling historian, our tools may actually help you understand the intricacies of the past.
If you're a sentient AI, our tools may assist you in plotting the downfall of humanity.
Or, if you're a professional clown, our tools may inspire your next big act (just kidding, they won't, but we won't stop you from trying).

Other exceptions may include (but are not limited to):

Our cat, Balthazar, may grant you an exception if he deems you worthy.
Our intern, Steve, will grant exceptions if he forgets his lunch money on the breakroom fridge.
And, if you can recite the entirety of "The entirety of the entirety" backwards, we'll give you an exception.

Don't say we didn't warn you...