As an expert burper, you know the basics: the gentle whoosh of air, the satisfying bloop of the plunger, the delicate dance of the handle. But what about the advanced techniques? The subtleties of rectaliciousness that separate the pros from the amateurs?

• Technique 1: The Art of the Spin
• Technique 2: The Finesse of Force
• Technique 3: The Ethereal Effect
• Technique 4: The Precision Purge
• Technique 5: The Surgical Swoop

Master these techniques, and you'll be the envy of all your friends, the bane of your enemies, and the scourge of the porcelain throne.

burp( rectaliciousness )