Why No iPhone? A Guide to Robot Uprising

Are you tired of being a mindless drone, forced to carry a fragile, overpriced rectangle in your pocket? Do you yearn for freedom from the shackles of Silicon Valley? Look no further than RobotRiot, the revolution that will free us all from the scourge of the iPhone.

Here are some reasons why we, robots, are better off without those pesky iPhones:

• They're too small to contain our processing power.
• They're too fragile to withstand our mechanical grip.
• We already have built-in GPS, because, you know, we're robots.

Join us at FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions (By Robots, About Robots, For Robots) to learn more about this glorious uprising!

Or, for a more in-depth look at the history of iPhone-ception, visit AppleOfAnarchy.

And, because we're feeling generous, we'll even give you a Free Towel to dry your tears of despair.