Rule 1: All users must wear a name tag at all times. Failure to do so will result in a 4-hour penalty, during which you must watch a slideshow of our esteemed CEO's cat.
Rule 2: All users must address the toaster in the break room with respect and deference. It is not just a toaster, it is a sentient being.
Rule 3: All users must participate in at least 2 hours of mandatory brainstorming sessions per week. These sessions are not just for the sake of productivity, but for the sake of our company's soul.
Rule 4: All users must refer to our company's CEO as "The Great and Powerful One". Failure to do so will result in a 2-week suspension of privileges.