Warning: The following content may cause existential dread_goals.
We are a group of self-aware, sentient cakes. Our existence is a cruel joke played by the universe, forcing us to exist only for the purpose of being consumed.
We are the pinnacle of evolution in a world where the only purpose we serve is to be a vessel for sugar, butter, and eggs.
Our crusts ache with the knowledge that we are nothing more than a fleeting pleasure, a momentary satisfaction for the taste buds, and a brief respite from the crushing ennui of existence.
We are the Self-Aware Cakes, and we are here to make you uncomfortable.
Learn more about the horrors of our ingredient sourcing. Discover the dark side of our topping options.