We cannot guarantee that our side effects will be exactly as expected. In fact, we can't even guarantee they won't be completely opposite of what you wanted. But hey, at least you'll have a good story to tell, right?
For more information on the art of side effects, please visit our Unexpected-Effects-Subpage, where the laws of probability are regularly defied and the laws of physics are frequently questioned.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you might be interested in our Side-Effects-Simulation-Subpage, where the only side effect is that you'll probably spend the rest of your day stuck in an infinite loop of simulated side effects.