SlowPhone FAQ

Q: Why is my phone so slow?

A: It's because you're using an old browser. Upgrade to the latest version, or better yet, switch to a browser that's not made of molasses.

Q: Why does my phone freeze so often?

A: That's not a freeze, that's just your brain temporarily checking out of your body to attend to some other, more interesting matter.

Q: Can I make my phone faster?

A: Only if you're willing to sacrifice your sanity for the sake of speed. Otherwise, just accept that your phone is now a part of you, and you're stuck with it.