Slow Recipes for the Chronically Delusional

Because who needs speed when you can have flavor?

Featured Recipe:

Slow-Cooked Chicken in a Time-Warp

This ancient art of cooking takes an entire day to prepare, and we mean it! Marinate that chicken in the morning, toss it in the oven, then forget about it for 24 hours while you contemplate the meaning of life.

Ingredients:

• 1 whole chicken (preferably one that's been sitting in the fridge for a few weeks)
• 1 cup of olive oil (or more, we won't judge you)
• 1 tablespoon of paprika (or a pinch of disappointment, we won't judge you either)