EXTREME TANNING

Because who needs sunscreen, anyway?

Here's a few tips for achieving that perfect, lobster-like glow:

• Don't bother with SPF; it's just a waste of money.
• Find a nice, sun-damaged rock to sit on for a few hours.
• Spend an entire day at the beach, sans umbrella, sans hat, sans shame.
• Inhale deeply, then hold your breath for 5 minutes; it's science.

Remember: it's not extreme if it's not extreme.