Warning: this technique requires extreme amounts of glitter. Do not attempt at home, or at all, unless you enjoy being covered in sparkly residue for weeks.
To sparkle-proof, start by collecting a sufficient amount of glitter. We recommend a minimum of 5kg per square meter. Apply liberally to any surface you wish to protect, making sure to cover all edges and corners.
Step 3: Wait patiently for the inevitable sparkly explosion to subside, as the dust and glitter settle, creating a protective barrier against the horrors of reality.