SparkleProphets have long been known for their ability to predict the future with uncanny accuracy. But what goes into this mystical process? Our Method of Mischief is a closely guarded secret, known only to our most elite Prophets. But for the sake of entertainment, we've deigned to provide a simplified overview.
It starts with a dash of intuition, a pinch of mysticism, and a healthy dose of mischief.
Step 1: Gather Information
We begin by collecting as much information as possible about the subject of our prophecy. This includes, but is not limited to, their astrological chart, family tree, and snack preferences.
We're looking for the kind of information that will help us pinpoint exactly what they'll be wearing on the third Tuesday of the next month. Because, let's be real, that's all anyone really wants to know.
Step 2: Apply SparkleMagic
Now it's time to apply our patented SparkleMagic. This involves a series of elaborate rituals, including but not limited to: staring into a crystal ball, reciting ancient incantations, and playing a jaunty tune on the harmonica.
We're not really sure what this does, but it's definitely not boring.
Step 3: Interpret the Signs
Finally, we take all the information we've collected and apply our unique blend of interpretive skills to discern the future.
This can involve anything from deciphering ancient runes to analyzing the entrails of a freshly baked croissant. The possibilities are endless!
And that's it! With these three steps, our Prophets can predict with uncanny accuracy the future of anyone who will deign to share their information with us.
Want to try it out? Share your info with us, and we'll give you a free reading! (Just kidding, that's not really free. It's actually very expensive.)
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you can try Our Prophetic Proclamations