Spice Rank Requirements

To achieve a Spice Rank, you must fulfill these absurd and totally-not-made-up requirements:

Spice Level 1: Novice

• Must be able to identify at least 5 different types of sand
• Must be able to recite the Spice and the City in its entirety
• Must be able to consume at least 3 cups of coffee while blindfolded

Spice Level 2: Intermediate

• Must be able to grow their own spice crop ( bonus points for using a hydroponic system)
• Must be able to navigate a spice-filled desert using only their sense of smell
• Must be able to identify the perfect ratio of sand to spice (3:1 or 4:1, no more, no less)

Spice Level 3: Advanced

• Must be able to hold their breath for at least 10 minutes while surrounded by a field of spice
• Must be able to recite the Spice and the City in a different accent each time
• Must be able to cook the perfect spice-cured steak using only a blowtorch and a can of Spam

Spice Level 4: Guru

• Must be able to see through the haze (no glasses, no contact lenses, no contacts)
• Must be able to communicate with the Spice Gods themselves ( bonus points for using only interpretive dance)
• Must be able to cook the perfect spice-cured egg using only a microwave and a can of spray cheese

Spice Rank Progression Chart:

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